Excuse Me, These Fries Are Cold

I was a shy child.  Stop laughing.  I really was. My siblings and I were raised to be seen and not heard. I only saw my mom mad one time my entire life. One of our cars had been in the shop for a month and when we got it back, I drove it to MSU the very next day. It died at the intersection of Sunshine and National. If you don't know where that is, it's right in front of Mercy Hospital in Springfield, Missouri and this was long before there were cell phones. After my brother drove from Ozark to take me to college,(I remember that collect phone call very well) and the tow truck took the Cutlass Supreme to the shop, my mom found out. Right then and there, I finally saw Wannis Applegate mad. My point is, we just didn't grow up being encouraged to say much, even if we disagreed. So when I met Robert and we started dating, a few things about him shocked me.  I've gotten used to the way he thinks, and actually embraced it, and it's made me a better educator.
* First of all, Robert stands up for himself. If you are going to be critical of him, you better be prepared to have a comeback because he isn't going to sit by and say nothing. You are going to hear his opinion.  If you agree fine, and if you don't fine, but either way you are going to hear it. We as educators must stand up for ourselves, our district, our teachers and our kids. That is what we are here for.  We know better than others why we do what we are doing. We know where our teachers' hearts are and, without a doubt, our kids deserve it.
* Second, Robert isn't afraid to question someone's opinions if he disagrees. Undoubtedly this produces a dialogue which helps both parties understand each other a little better. I'm quite certain, he would have excelled in David Watkins' debate class if he'd been in there. You see, Robert is knowledgeable about topics he's passionate about and if you try to debate him, you better be on your A game.  I would hope, we as educators do not want to surround ourselves every single day with "Yes Men" who don't challenge us to be better or see something differently.  I don't want my teachers to just go along with my ideas.  If they have better ones or have more knowledge about a topic than I do, by all means I want them to share.  Question me.  Make me a critical thinker.  Help me see the other side.  What is wrong with that? Nothing. We sure don't want to work with people who are just like us. I just recently heard a presenter say we should be looking to work with people WE want to be like, not who want to be like us. 
*Finally, one of my favorite traits of Robert's is that he isn't afraid to send cold french fries back.  Whenever I've been given cold ones, my first thought is to just go ahead and eat them instead of sending them back. I don't want to risk making someone mad, but that isn't the case with Robert.  No way.  He ordered hot fries and that's the way they better be served.  It took me a number of years to get used to this, but I realized Robert is right.  Those who don't truly know Robert think he's opinionated. He is. He is willing to speak up. It just happens to be a little louder than some would like.  Because I was shy, I usually sent him to do the "dirty work" of taking something back or telling someone something I didn't want to, causing him to usually mutter under his breath, "Sure, you want to complain about HOW I say something, but you still want ME to do it."  One day it finally hit me.  Most of us don't want to be the Robert's in the world, but we sure want to HAVE a Robert in our corner.   We as educators need to be willing to speak up if something is wrong or fight for what is right.  This is a serious profession and we need to treat it that way.  How many of us just "take it" when we should speak up?  How many of us choose to bad mouth others just because they disagree with us instead of confronting them to resolve the issue? How many of us are jealous of others, but don't want to admit it and talk behind their backs?  How many of us don't want to engage in dialogue with others because we are afraid they'll just get mad? After all, why would we engage in a respectful conversation and try to become more knowledgeable when it's so much easier to get mad and go talk about someone? That's sarcasm by the way.  We could learn so much more, if instead of talking ABOUT people, we engage in meaningful dialogue.  We should all be able to speak our mind and give our opinions and be listened to. They may change or they may not, but at least the dialogue and knowledge of where others are coming from will help everyone understand.
As I was typing this blog, a favorite phrase came to mind.  LISTEN WITH THE INTENT TO UNDERSTAND, NOT REPLY. I recently went to the METC17 conference in St. Charles with a group of educators.  It was an amazing conference with worthwhile activities I have already brought back to the Carver team. The trip allowed me to visit in a different setting with those who went from Neosho.  Curt White, our instructional technology specialist went and we had the opportunity to eat lunch together the first day. We had a conversation about education.  The topic doesn't matter.  What matters is that Curt and I didn't agree on the topic, but we both talked respectfully to each other and we listened with the intent to understand, not reply.  I admit, it's hard for me to do this, but I did. I listened to his side and he listened to mine.  I didn't go back to the room and talk about Curt and his opinion or get on the phone and tell somebody how wrong Curt was and I'm sure he didn't do that to me either.  I have, however, thought about what he said and can see his point and I believe he would tell you the same about mine. I respect Curt and appreciate the opportunity to hear an opposing viewpoint and look forward to visiting with him about several more subjects.  I would challenge you all to listen with the intent to understand, not reply, stand up for your beliefs, question people's opinions, engage in respectful dialogue, and by all means, send the cold french fries back.