Monday, January 23, 2017

Relationships Matter

"That was one of my most memorable elementary years...And every year I always think of you on your birthday." "If you are free over the summer, Elise and I would love to go to lunch with you." Those words were spoken by Maggie Scanlon and Kashina Harris who happen to be two wonderful young ladies I taught when they were 8-years-old. They sent me those messages on facebook as adult women and I still love reading them today.  During my first year to teach, I encouraged Maggie to keep writing even after editing PAGE AFTER PAGE of her stories in third grade. She wrote more than anyone in the class and it took quite some time to make those changes. I told her she was going to be a writer one day and she ended up getting a degree in journalism.She later became a teacher and I'm sure is making an impact on kids' lives daily. Kashina used to call me on the phone just to talk when you was in fifth grade (she was one I taught in third grade and then again in fifth).  I remember thinking, "Should I be talking to a little girl on the phone who's in my class." At the time, I didn't realize the importance, but 24 years later, it's apparent to me how important talking to her really was.  They are all grown up now, but we've  seen each other through the years, and it's clear we have the same sweet memories of 1992 in Rogersville, Mo  Others from those years have asked me to be friends on facebook as well.  Ashley Parent told me I was one of the reasons she had become a teacher. I know she's a great one. I swelled with pride when I read her comments. When someone tells you that you were instrumental in their life, you can't help but be overcome with joy. I feel sorry for those people who go into professions who never experience what we do as educators. Those girls were my girls then and they are still my girls now. Why? Because we built a relationship.

I look back on the people in education who built relationships with me.  Mrs. Turner, my 4th grade teacher, is now a friend on Facebook, but back in 1980 we talked weekly about what was happening with J.R., Bobby and Miss Ellie.  She even brought me back a rock (or piece of tar) from Southfork, which I still have today.  Why? Because we built a relationship.

Connie Bryant worked with me at Goodman Elementary when I went to work there as a third grade teacher.  I eventually became the principal at Goodman and then Carver while she became the Director of Field School/Federal Programs and most recently she retired.  We could have spoken occasionally, but instead we have remained close friends through the years and every time I call or see her, I'm greeted with "Hey Boss" and a big hug.  Just recently, she "took care of me" when she offered to go to Sam's to get goodies for a meeting I was hosting. Why? Because we built a relationship.

I love watching the relationships with coaches and players as well, but in this blog I'll talk about my favorite coach (well sort of,,, I was no athlete) so I guess he's my favorite coach to watch...Coach Burr. I've always loved watching players Robert has coached or is coaching come up to him just to talk or even get advice.  Many have told me stories about him and what he has said to them on and off the field and we've laughed and laughed.  Where do you think Logan Burr got the nickname Jelly? Some of them have a pretty good impression of him that's spot on as well. The Storm girls can tell you more about a hobo and a ham sandwich if you ask. Why do they remember those stories? Because he built a relationship.

Relationships matter. This week I challenge all educators and coaches to think about the relationships you've built with kids and colleagues. If you haven't built any, YOU ARE IN THE WRONG PROFESSION. What if I had discouraged Maggie from writing? What if I had ignored Kashina when she called? What if Ashley had not had good memories of her third grade teacher?  What if Mrs. Turner had told me to quit talking about J.R.? What if Connie and I had quit talking when we no longer worked in the same building? What if Robert had just ignored Logan when he said his legs were like jelly? Listen, encourage and have fun with kids...Relationships matter.




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9 comments:

  1. Love it! Good words.

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  2. I pride myself on the relationships I try to make with my students but this blog kinda pulled on some heart strings. I often times am misunderstood when it comes to my relationships with adults. That is an area I have been working on this year. My intentions are often times misunderstood or misconstrued as harsh. Thanks for reminding me that the job we are in are 100% about relationships. I will continue to work on it!

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  3. Thanks for the reminder and encouragement to be intentional in my relationships.

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  4. This was a huge lesson for me my very first year of teaching! When I think back at my lack of interest in getting to know my students and co-workers I cringe. I did not realize what I was missing because it wasn't a big push in that building. I'm so happy to be in a building where creating positive relationships is a focus.

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  5. Great words!! I couldn't agree more!

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  6. This brought back some sentimental memories from my 16 years of managing Little League teams. I have had numerous young men from those years that have stopped me on the streets and told me what a positive affect I had on their lives. You are right; there's nothing like that feeling of success when these encounters occur. We have to remember that we serve an age group that is at an impressionable age and their lives could go in the right or wrong direction because of how we and others respond to them. Very inspirational blog.

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