I have a Bachelor's Degree, a Master's Degree and a Specialist Degree, but my best education has come from my daughter, Allison. I've never been that mom who constantly posts about their kid on social media and she has noticed it through the years. She would occasionally ask why I didn't post about her and I always responded with, "I don't need to do that," or "That's not me." Well, the time has finally come. I DO need to do that and it IS me.
What I've learned from Allison
1. DON'T GET INVOLVED IN DRAMA. She's never been the kid to involve herself in other people's drama. That must be the Burr gene. I can still hear her Grandma Burr say, "Now don't tell anyone, but...". I've often asked her what's going on with somebody at school and she usually says she doesn't know and doesn't care. You might think that sounds rude, but in reality we should ALL be more like her. She shows me everyday, by her actions, to stay out of other people's business. I've had many conversations with team members this year about staying in our own lane and doing our own job. It's easy to want to get involved with others' problems and get caught up in coworker's issues, but there's no time for those distractions when we should be busy educating kids. We must be "on" when the doors open. When there is drama in the workplace, the focus is lost and what we do is too important for that.
2. FORGIVE AND FORGET QUICKLY. I've watched in amazement at her as others who weren't always kind to her have been given her quick forgiveness. She isn't one to hold a grudge. That must be another Burr gene because, as my sister likes to remind me when we bring up the late 80s, I still can't let go of some things from high school. I don't know what she's talking about. Back to Allison. She can be talked to "ugly", she can be ignored, she can be embarrassed, she can be harshly criticized and somehow she forgives and forgets. I told her just a couple weeks ago, upon seeing tears in her eyes, which angered this Mama Bear, "You're a better person than I am." On the ride home that night, I reflected on her reactions to what she's dealt with in various situations, and again, I can only hope, even though I'm an adult, I can be more like her. We should all strive everyday to forgive and forget quickly, let things go, move on and get back to business. Whether a colleague has angered us at work, a parent conversation didn't go well, or perhaps we've felt wronged for whatever reason, we must forgive and forget. Our kids need us to be the total package while they're at school and in our care.
3. HAVE A KIND HEART. Allison isn't much of a talker. Yet, another Burr gene. However, we've had conversations this year about kids in school and her kind heart has shown through. She told me about being close to tears when a young man shared with their entire class how mean other kids had been to him. I can remember her saying, "Mom, I was about to cry. It was so sad." I could see how moved she was by what he had to say. She didn't understand why others had to be so cruel. Another time during football season, she saw a freshmen being talked to in an awful way by upperclassmen in the stands and was so upset she came to sit by me the rest of the night. She wanted something to be done, because he didn't deserve to be treated that way (I might have intervened at that point). I remember hearing the heartbreak in her voice at the beginning of the year when she told me about seeing a boy in the hallway who got his books knocked out of his hands on purpose by a classmate. She was so angry at the boy who did that. I loved witnessing her kind heart for myself when she was younger and Gabee Rainwater joined the Neosho Storm (their traveling basketball team). One particular game Allison could have taken the easy shot, but instead turned to Gabs and passed it. You could see Gabee's surprise as she caught the ball. It was priceless. At that moment it was more important to Allison for Gabee to shoot the ball. That may have been the beginning of her unselfish basketball playing days. I won't tell the story of our recently acquired dog, but it was an act of kindness on her part for sure. There are other stories like this that show me how kind she is. She's like her dad who happens to have a hard shell but is really soft inside. These stories help keep me focused on always showing a kind heart to our kids at school. We need to realize the impact we could have on them. My "Good Morning" my high five, or my "How are you" might be all they need to kick start their day and make all the difference. I try to do the same with the team members I get to work with who mean so much to me and our school. Showing kindness to others is a must at Carver. After all, we are a family.
As you read this, I challenge you to ask yourself Do you get involved in drama at work? What role do you play if you do? What can you do to change your involvement? Do you forgive and forget in the workplace or hold grudges that you can't get past? Are you kind to the kids and your colleagues or are you distracted and rude? Reflecting on these questions and being honest with ourselves is what growth is all about.
After some recent events, which involved Allison and seeing how she handled it, I told her my next blog was going to be about her and her response was, "It's about time." I hope she likes it, because I loved writing it. Although she's taught me much more than what I've mentioned, these are the highlights I felt I needed to share. As I think about all the years it took to complete three degrees, and all the time I was away from fun, friends and family, I can say without a doubt, that while I'm proud of each of them, I'm most proud to be Allison Educated.
